I can picture Berberian and Der Sarkissian around a coffee table in the wee hours of the night dissecting Farrukh Fateh’s and Ustad Nussat Fateh’s magical sounds into a hysterical chorus of reckless Armenian grown-up men clapping their hands in a refrain that sounds like this: “Arra Vye Vye, byebyebyebye…..” The Legendary Peshawar Ensemble was missing a harmonium on this night, but two accordions instead did mighty fine, and the hand-held derbakeh was good enough to make up for the missing tabla in the Ensemble’s delivery of Sufi chants that quickly changed to “Akh im anoosh yar, inchoo heratzar”. Good job boys! Hilarious? Yes. Witty? Definitely. Smart? Of course. Intelligent? Certainly!
For the past two weekends a gang of lunatics from Medede-h-gegen (MDDGH) acronym for Recovery Center for Artists Suffering from Mental Crisis, have been hitting the stage in a program entitled “Out of the Cage”, with a package of 13 sketches depicting “things” lunatics do in an asylum when their supervisors are not in the room, or when they too are as crazy as they are. I believe that MDDGH is located in Glendale. Just what we needed in Glendale!
However, before the performances reached the climax of the 2 hour-long program, the audience was treated to a few other gems, such as Sasoontzi Tavit’s encounter with the 5 headed (Armenian) dragon. How do we know it was Armenian? Simple, because each of the 5 ended up killing each other off for silly reasons until there was no sense in being a dragon (i.e. Armenian) anymore.
Then we met the young Armenian who had come to the (Armo) Undertaking Agency (again, located in Glendale) to book a sightseeing tour of Armenia’s historic sites for his very dead father, because his wish was “To see Armenia” before he was buried there.
The Battle of Vartanatz was fought against the Persians (and their elephants- none to be seen) by 400, maybe 500 or perhaps 600 Armenians organized around a disorganized brigade called Caballeros Armenos, led by that other masterful lunatic, Ara Madzounian. You could tell Ara was not about to miss out on his “dream” to put this character on stage the first chance he got. His facial expressions of a sbarabed in worry, fear, and constipation were hilarious. Ara, you were on the money.
If you thought that the two stylish arguing Samurais (V. Berberian and Madzounian) were a bit serious, you bet they weren’t! After all, the conversation between the two of them, was about the perils of one’s daughter being married to the other’s son and not providing him with real chi-keofteh for the attainment of true marital bliss. For those amongst us who couldn’t understand the Japano-Armeno-Nippon dialect of the Samurais, there was Sako Berberian at the other end of the stage providing us with line-by-line translation, including the exclamations such as aah and ooh. Sako is a serious guy, but not when he’s on stage in a tie and jacket.
Which brings us to the evening’s pet project - Turkey. If you thought that the Armenian-Turkish reconciliation meetings are, someday, to achieve success, then think again. These guys know better- It cannot and will not work. The Turks will keep rubbing in (get this) the fact that they beat us in a World Cup qualification soccer match, while Armenians know enough Turkish, especially cussing and cursing, to let the Turks get away with anything. Spanglish is the pig language of California Mexicans who do not speak proper English, or for that matter Anglos who do not speak enough Spanish. But, the language spoken at the Armenia-Turkish Reconciliation meeting was cut-throat humor that does not have to take itself too seriously. It goes something like this: “Armenia delegasion shad ooshatsanlar”, to which the other delegate predicts, “Belki billiard khaghasen”. But the third Turk seemed to know “Ne diorin sende, Armeni nerde, billiard nerde”.
There is a name for this kind of humor: Shakhsism. A sharp inner-city, Beirutzi-hygagan cool, where even making fun of Armenians and our manners has love written all over it. Don’t be offended, just get comfortable with the shortcomings of our people. But beware of making eye contact with any of these smarties while sitting across a table with them. You need to be warned that any twitch on your face, an eyebrow hair sticking out, or a coffee stain on your shirt can be fodder for a laugh, and I love them even more for it.
“Amma kebab ellarsen, lav gellarsen” was a wish from the table on the left, and that too was taken care of. The audience of 400 was treated to mezze. This Armenian social event was not about to go without kebab and pilaf, turshoo and that (not so) crafty Armenian thing called…Hammus.
“Effendilar, zoor nesdilar, shidag khosilar”. This program was smart, witty and shrewd. The work of cynics who have gathered to play with their own naughty ideas for the amusement of the real fools –i.e. the rest of us who were sitting in the audience. On this night, we were reminded not to take ourselves too seriously in our own little deeds and organizations. We need to know that we can be ridiculous sometimes, and that too makes us better people. We were entertained.
Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you that barsgahyes say “Etveen” when calling out the name Edwin. That’s the way it is. Just accept it!
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